Every person on this planet, let alone every spiritual practitioner, has a “hot button” topic of discussion. Something that they feel so passionate about, something that they have researched, studied, and meditated about, almost to the point of exhaustion, that they can’t help but react to when the chance arrives. For some people it is politics, for others it is medical vaccinations, still others fret over dogs versus cats.
For myself, it is the idea of being “realistic”.
We have all said it and we have all hid behind the allure and safety of this word over the course of our lives. I am definitely no exception to this statement and I won’t pretend otherwise. More to the point, I would say that a large majority of my life was governed by the “rules of being realistic” and therefore I have no problem staking claim as a former “realism expert”. By expert, I mean that I allowed the limitations of realism to control my life and determine a vast majority of decisions I had to make. There are few things in my life that led me to more sadness than believing that certain actions or ways of thinking were “realistic” and therefore the proper way to function within society.
I would like to make one thing very clear:
You create your reality, so therefore, whatever you believe to be true about the world you live in can be considered what IS realistic.
Nothing more and nothing less.
Now, the common argument to this claim, that which is ushered by the so called “realists”, is one of questioning the so deemed “random acts of chaos, violence, and inhumanity” which occur in our world every day. Why do these things occur? Do people ask to be hurt, tortured, and to suffer in pain? It is a good question and one that is important to address when having this discussion. I am not suggesting to anyone who reads this that when bad things happen to someone they deserve it or that there is justification in blaming the victim. That argument is not only false, but dangerous when supported. However, the fact remains that we create our own reality, which leads us right back to where we left off. How can we possibly accept these concepts when there is so much hurt happening around us?
While I won’t attempt to explain the entire process in one blog post, what I will suggest to you is that if you are only fixated on the pain that you experience than you are only connecting to one aspect of existence. You are making the conscious choice to connect solely to the pain you have experienced, which you are allowing to become your reality. Children, animals, the elderly, all of the “innocent people” we see being taken advantage of are in one way or another shaping the reality that exists around them.
To those of you who have experienced severe trauma in your life, I would first wish to say to you how loved you truly are and that you are worthy and beautiful just the way you are. You are not damaged, you are not worthless, and you are definitely not broken. However, being someone who has never experienced torture, rape, violence, and cruelty I cannot tell you that I know what you are going through. That would be a lie and a disrespect to those who have. However, I encourage those who resonate with this to watch the following video of spiritual leader Teal Scott who endured some of the most horrific means of suffering imaginable. Not only did she survive, but she has now thrived in a world that welcomes her teachings and wisdom about love and acceptance.
This may have appeared to be a side track, but I know that it is important to address before getting in to the real thickness of the topic. So, what does this have to do with being “realistic”? If you are currently in a profession or job that you do not like it may cross your mind to look for another employment opportunity that will make you happier. This scenario is not only prevalent in the world right now, but it is expanding and growing faster than anyone can control. This is happening because people are waking up spiritually and realizing how little joy they are experiencing. But what if that person who wishes to find a new career says to themselves:
“Well, I should be realistic about my expectations”.
“I only have so much education, so it will be hard to find my dream job”
“There’s so much competition for the kind of work I’m looking for”
“I should just be realistic”
As stated previously, you create your own reality, so why on Earth would you wish to create a reality that automatically sets up road blocks and difficulty for yourself? What is the benefit to thinking, acting, and feeling this way? Most people who call themselves “realists” will use the explanation of not wanting to set themselves up for a let down, when IN REALITY all they are doing IS setting themselves up for failure. You are deliberately creating a world for yourself that holds you back and restricts your creativity, your imagination, the amount of joy you can experience, and of course the amount of love in your life.
There is an important difference I would like to point out to those who are struggling with this concept and especially to those who are practicing spiritual means of living in this physical reality. If you are trying to remain open and create a world for yourself that is literally “limitless” you may run in to the occasional situation that is challenging and does cause you to experience the feeling of having a “set back”. However, there is no reason to doubt yourself and settle back on the old stand by of “keeping it real”.
What you are really striving to achieve is the practice of non-resistance to what is.
You are not supposed to deny what is and pretend that things are wonderful when they are not. This would be an act of resistance, which will only create more of what you do not want to see in your wonderful reality. Instead of thinking of things in terms of what is realistic simply allow yourself to practice non-resistance and acceptance of what is happening. Instead of shaming the world or yourself, ask yourself questions and be honest with yourself.
“What have I been feeling that would warrant attracting this in to my life?”
“Have I been denying something?”
“Have I been ignoring my true feelings?”
Here is the main difference that you must understand about these two ways of being:
Being realistic is a passive form of co-creation where you believe that you have little control (if any) over the events that take place in your life. You choose to settle for what is safe and lower your standards of what you believe you need to be happy. You think less of people and their capacity to care about you or their desire to help.
Being non-resistant to what is would be considered an active form of co-creation where you acknowledge that you are creating what you see around you. You take responsibility for what you are seeing and feeling and make conscious decisions about what you would prefer to see. You believe in a world that supports you and wants you to be happy, but also that it will be honest with you. In turn, you are not afraid of being honest with yourself and are willing to act on what you discover.
I know this has been a long winded post, but as you can probably tell I am very passionate about it, and therefore, have a lot to say. If you are someone who considers yourself a realist, know that this post is not meant to offend you or make you feel inferior in any way. I simply wish to lovingly challenge your beliefs and ask you:
Does the world reflect the type of life you want to live?
If it does and you are happy with your realistic approach to life then ignore everything that I have said and know that I value and appreciate your perspective. However, if you feel that there is something missing in your life, then join us on what you perceive to be the dark side.
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Until next time,
My unconditional love to you all